Opinions Not Widely Held

for Lauren

2008-12-14T17:15:00.002-06:00

Hi Honey!

Here are the lyrics you asked about.

I got stuck after the third line, so I looked them up.

God never moves without purpose or plan

In trying a servant and moulding a man

Give thanks to the Lord, though your testing seems long

In darkness, He giveth a song

Chorus:

Oh, rejoice in the Lord, He makes no mistakes

He knoweth the end of each path that I take

For when I am tried and purified

I shall come forth as gold

I could not see through the darkness ahead

So I looked to the cross of my Savior instead

I bowed to the will of the Master that day

Then peace came and tears fled away

Chorus:

Oh, rejoice in the Lord He makes no mistakes

He knoweth the end of each path that I take

For when I am tried and purified

I shall come forth as gold

Now I can see testing comes from above

God strengthens his servants and mouldeth in love

My Father knows best and I trust in His care

Through purging, more fruit I will bear

Chorus:

Oh, rejoice in the Lord He makes no mistakes
He knoweth the end of each path that I take
For when I am tried and purified
I shall come forth as gold

Um... those are the words: the creepy thing is...

I found them on a site called "True Mormonism".

0_o ... things that make you say, Huh?

Levi is not broken!

2008-11-12T13:24:00.002-06:00

Well, Levi called yesterday afternnon to let his old mom know that he was sore, but OKAY.

Monday he had a friend take him up to the big city of Rapid City, South Dakota where he was X-rayed at a very interesting place.

He said it was really, really dirty. He said they had needed a copy of his health insurance card instead of just the numbers and so, instead of having me fax that, they just put him in this "wierd welfare program thing for full-time students who live along way from home and don't have a job and no money" (his words).

O_o

They only charged him $20.00 for the office visit and the X-ray. :)

Anyway, no fracture, just soft tissue damage and pain. Yeah!

They sent him packing back to the school with a pediatric-sized (Levi is 6'3") sling that was, in his words, "really, really dirty and it had been used before. I'll bring it home when I come so you can see it."
Oh goody!

He promptly removed it when he got to the car. :)

Yes, folks, that kind of sums up the state of South Dakota.

I AM thankful that it was that cheap, though... and that it wasn't broken.

In Front of My Eyes

2008-11-11T11:49:00.004-06:00

This was taken from my REVEAL journal, from earlier this summer. I wrote it, still in the car, after witnessing this scene.

6-25-08

I just stood in line, 2 people behind a lady at Walgreen's. The total amount of her purchases was $48.87. The items that she purchased were:

* 2 small cans of Spanish peanuts

* 2 bottles of fingernail polish

* a pile of assorted types of Dove chocolate

While the girl was scanning her items, she asked the woman how she was doing today.

It was only then that I really looked at her and noticed that the woman was having difficutly breathing, was using a walker and was morbidly obese.

She had a pained, almost panicked expression on her face as she gasped, "Oh, I'm having trouble walking today, Honey."

A pitiful nod from the cashier as she filled her bags with chocolate.

As I walked out to my car, I noticed that the woman was just then putting her folded walker in the rear seat of her oversized vehicle that was parked in the first handicapped spot. Sweat was rolling down her face as she heaved the door closed. As I passed her, I heard what I can only describe as something between wheezing and a soft crying sound coming from deep inside her.

I can't help but immediately write this in my journal. I cannot forget it. I MUST NOT forget!

The woman is a slave. She is a SLAVE, and she serves a cruel master. A master that could care LESS that she is DYING!

It makes me think about those people I have seen, when visiting at hopsitals... those people that have been asked to be wheeled out by volunteers, who stand shivering next to their wheelchairs... waiting patiently while they smoke... in spite of the oxygen tubes in their noses.

What are we DOING to ourselves? and how can we be so BLIND to it?

Big Boys and the fun that comes with them.

2008-11-09T16:28:00.009-06:00

Levi called early this morning, which was wierd because a few minutes earlier he had clearly come to my mind while I was lying in bed and I had said
"I LOVE my Weevuh" (Levi).

So a few minutes later the phone rings and I was immediatley like "Oh, no."

Eric talked to him, sounded worried, then hung up and came in and asked me where the insurance card was. "Levi thinks he's broken his clavicle. I don't KNOW how he did it, we need to call him back with the insurance card numbers."

So I get up and find the card. I know, from previous experience, that the tiny hospital in Hot Springs SD does not work for us, meaning that if my kids go there, we pay for the whole thing. I know that they supposedly *will* cover a hospital in Rapid City, almost an hour north. (Levi has no car) I forgot the name of that hospital, so I called the number on the back of our insurance card to get the name of the right hospital.

"Our office hours are Monday through Friday, 9:00 am to......"

So I hang up and call the number for emergency locations.

"If this is an emergency, please go to the nearest hospital and seek assistance. If this is NOT a life-threatening emergency, our offices are open at 9:00 am Monday to ...."

Okay, apparently you cannot break a bone over the weekend.

That is not life threatening enough.

So I call him back with the information.

After the *ooohs* and *awwwws*, I ask him how he hurt his shoulder.

Here it comes.

"Well last night we were playing this game. You go out in the dark (the freezing dark, apparently) and you look straight up at the stars and then you spin around as fast as you can go, then a person shines a flashlight in your eyes and you fall down. pause... I landed on my head and shoulder."

sigh....

"Levi, please tell me you will never play that game again."

So later, I was telling Jenna about it and she said "A bunch of kids were playing that game at the hayride. They said it does something to your brain - it stops sending the right signals and you lose control. About five of us were standing around them telling them that it looked dangerous."

(At least there is hope for Jenna)

How much you want to bet me most of them were boys?

I hope they have insurance...

and don't break something on a weekend.

This will not be pretty.

2008-11-06T16:21:00.005-06:00

The folly of men.

Isaiah 44:14b – 20

14b He (a man) plants a fir, and the rain makes it grow.
15 Then it becomes something for a man to burn, so he takes one of them and warms himself; he also makes a fire to bake bread. He also makes a god and worships it; he makes it a graven image and falls down before it.
16 Half of it he burns in the fire; over this half he eats meat as he roasts a roast and is satisfied. He also warms himself and says, "Aha! I am warm, I have seen the fire."
17 But the rest of it he makes into a god, his graven image He falls down before it and worships; he also prays to it and says, "Deliver me, for you are my god."
18 They do not know, nor do they understand, for He has smeared over their eyes so that they cannot see and their hearts so that they cannot comprehend.
19 No one recalls, nor is there knowledge or understanding to say, "I have burned half of it in the fire and also have baked bread over its coals I roast meat and eat it then I make the rest of it into an abomination, I fall down before a block of wood!"
20 He feeds on ashes; a deceived heart has turned him aside and he cannot deliver himself, nor say, “Is there not a lie in my right hand?”

____________________

I have loved this story. It has been one of my favorites. I have laughed and said to myself and others, “Doesn’t God have a sense of humor?” I have thought, “the FOOLS!

How can they be so stupid?"

___________________

I have sat for YEARS under the preaching of a gifted man, I have heard the true, convicting WORD of GOD expounded upon countless times. I have sincerely BELIEVED that I loved God and hated sin while I sat in my pew in my 325 lb body and took communion and smugly prayed, mostly for OTHERS.

__________________

Sadly, this Old Testament passage is no longer funny to me. I don’t shake my head, roll my eyes and say, “Idiots! Can you not SEE?”

I WEEP as I write these words and I plead, “God! FORGIVE ME for being SO BLIND to my own sin for so long!” and I beg Him to finish what He has begun in me. I beg Him to continue breaking me, and I THANK Him for his mercy, His loving-kindness, His gentleness and most of all for His LONG-SUFFERING patience with me, His most wretched child!

Hey, About That Fat...

2008-10-30T15:23:00.004-05:00

Well THAT was depressing!

SO, I have decided to get on with it.

This is me... getting on with it.

so undeserved...

2008-10-14T11:33:00.006-05:00

This is one of my new favorite songs, although I can never get all of the way through it without choking up, so singing it is not really a great experience. It gets harder to sing every time I try.

So I decided just to post it here and read it often.

How deep the Father's love for us, how vast beyond all measure,
that He should give His only Son to make a wretch His treasure.
How great the pain of searing loss; the Father turns His face away,
as wounds which mar the Chosen One bring many sons to glory.

__________

Behold the man upon a cross, my sin upon His shoulders;
ashamed, I hear my mocking voice call out among the scoffers.
It was my sin that held Him there until it was accomplished;

His dying breath has brought me life--I know that it is finished.

__________

I will not boast in anything, no gifts, no pow'r, no wisdom;
but I will boast in Jesus Christ, His death and resurrection.
Why should I gain from His reward? I cannot give an answer,
but this I know with all my heart: His wounds have paid my ransom.

~Stuart Townsend~

sending a package

2008-10-09T10:26:00.009-05:00

The Souther's are going out to visit Nathanael, so I am sending a package to Levi. He called and asked me to re-string the banjo and send it with them. So I did that.

Side note: Levi suddenly wants to play the banjo, Jenna just ordered the mandolin she has been dreaming of getting, and Jacob is playing my dulcimer, the tin whitsle and the bodhran... we may eventually have our own little group! Crazy!

Anyway, I got up early this morning and made chocolate chip cookies for Levi. As I was packing it all up, I realized how MUCH I was missing my big teddy-bear hugging boy! He is such a big, silly, sweet boy. He leaves a big hole when he is gone. : (

So I decided to post some pics.

life is so funny

2008-10-07T10:55:00.004-05:00

A Favorite Quote - from a few months ago:

Me: "Self-discipline and self-motivation are not character traits that one either does or does not possess. They are STATES OF MIND, that require constant CHOICE!"

Jake: "Where did you hear that?"

Me: "From you! A few years ago."

Jake: "That's pretty good."

Me: "I know... I tell people that all the time!"

LOL!!

I finally did it.

2008-10-06T17:20:00.005-05:00

Well, yesterday afternoon, when Lauren was in misery, I went through my biggest stack of old church notes.

It was as wierd as I expected it to be.

The most significant thought that I had was... how difficult it must be for men of God to preach God's precious Word week after week after month after month after year to the same sedentary lumps, and see relatively few results.

Maybe it's just me.

I know this is nothing new, thank you Solomon, people have been responding much the same way to God's Word since He began giving it, but it was an eye-opener for me to see how long it has taken me to get this far... I mean, I KNEW it had been a long, long time, but to see it in writing... !

I've said it before and I'll say it again, God is merciful, gracious, long-suffering, gentle, kind, and so faithful!

"Even though we be unfaithful, HE remains faithful... for He cannot deny Himself." I don't know the reference, but that's pretty close.

Thank you God, my loving Heavenly Father!

I found it... in "drafts" ... and since I was afraid of it, I know I MUST post it.

2008-10-03T18:14:00.007-05:00

I actually HAVE been thinking about starting this. Unfortunately, the things that I am really passionate about writing are the most recent things I have learned and if I write them first, it would really mess with the whole "series of events" and, yeah... I still need to get into my stacks... you know, bottom first. But that is all going to take so much time.

Sigh....

The most important thing I am learning this week is that, lately, every time my mind is idle and begins its' incessant blathering I realize that; a) I am either wasting time focusing on unimportant drivel or b) I am being judgemental and/or trivial and that *I* am just as bad , if not worse, than the poor soul my mind was just focused on or c) I remember that I started out praying and, once again, ended up back HERE - and I just end up apologizing to God for my pathetic pride or what a reject I am... and even though it feels really crummy, I am happy, because it means that He is still working on me. It's so incredible that He even chose me.

...

Once I asked the Lord to show me my faults, and since then, I have yet to see anything good in myself.

God is amazing.

It's like Jake says... We are so used to comparing ourselves to other people, and feeling pretty decent about who we are, but CHRIST is the standard!

I can never get over that. I can never forget that.

I will never even come close to attaining it, but it's so much more worthy a goal than any I have had up til now... and I can spend the rest of my life reaching for it.

Why blog - when I've avoided it for this long?

2008-09-25T14:14:00.001-05:00

wow.

So freaky to be starting one of these. I have always felt that it would be such a waste of my time.

Recently, however, I have come to understand the importance of writing things down. I learn so much better when I am forced to put thoughts into words and then place them somewhere. It kind of solidifies them in my head.

I have stacks and stacks of papers floating around my house (mostly on my dresser) that I have saved for "someday", when I would look through them again and remember why they were so important to save. Almost all of them are things that God has taught me that I never want to forget... I do not have to want to learn them again! So I have scribbled down brief memos of them - to reflect on later.

Unfortunately, there never seems to be time to get to it. ... okay, I never MAKE time to get to it. But I am realising that I am beginning to forget some of them. They are beginning to cool on the back burner of my mind, and I must GET TO THEM... before they are lost to me.

I have learned so much, and have so much more to learn.

I have decided that it is a pity to keep them to myself. We are supposed to share the monumental lessons of life, aren't we? That is why they were given to us.

So... I am going delve into my stacks of snippets... into the depths of my very soul. It will not be easy.

Some of them I will just write here exactly the way I find them. That part should be fun!

Some I will cry over, others will make me chuckle : ). I plan to spend much time, deep reflection and study on others to reaffirm the lessons I have learned in the past.

I vow not to forget.

... and maybe, just maybe, someone who needs to read these thoughts will happen upon this tiny dark corner of the world and be encouraged... and maybe even learn something themselves.